


First Love

by ithilien22



Category: As the World Turns
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-06-28
Updated: 2008-06-28
Packaged: 2017-12-21 04:40:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/895905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ithilien22/pseuds/ithilien22
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Noah finally realizes that Luke is ‘the one,’ Luke realizes that Noah isn’t.</p>
            </blockquote>





	First Love

For the first few weeks, Luke really believes that Noah is going to come back. He keeps his word and stays out of Noah’s life, but he knows in his heart that it’s only a matter of time before Noah is going to call or show up on his doorstep.

A month later, he’s no longer so sure.

So when he runs into Reg again at Al’s one day, he awkwardly proposes the idea of having dinner sometime. Reg’s answering smile is almost overwhelming. 

When they do go out, it’s slightly awkward at first, but Reg’s easy charm helps to calm Luke’s nerves. By the time they order dessert he’s laughing outright and having more fun than he can remember having in a long time. They end up talking for so long that the restaurant has to kick them out when they close up for the night. Reluctantly, Reg drives Luke back to the farmhouse. When he whispers, “Goodnight,” Luke’s heart flutters slightly. He impulsively kisses Reg on the cheek before heading back inside. 

After that, they start seeing each other all the time. After their second official date, Reg invites Luke back to his apartment to watch a movie and they end up making out on the couch instead. Luke doesn’t mean for things to go so fast, but then Reg looks at him and says, “God, you’re gorgeous,” with his voice dripping awe and lust, and Luke just _wants_. When Reg asks him to stay the night, it takes almost all of Luke’s willpower to refuse. But he does.

Two months after their first date, Luke and Reg run into Noah on campus. He eyes their intertwined hands almost wearily as he greets them. They exchange awkward small talk until Noah finally comes up with an excuse to run off. The expression on Luke’s face as he watches Noah walk away nearly breaks Reg’s heart. Later, when they’re back at his apartment, Reg asks Luke if he wants to talk about it, but Luke shakes his head and pulls Reg into a kiss instead. Reg stops things before they go too far and tells Luke that he’s not interested in being the rebound. He retreats to his bedroom and closes the door and Luke cries himself to sleep on Reg’s couch.

The next day, Luke gets up early and makes breakfast, bringing it into Reg’s bedroom and sitting on the edge of the bed until the smell wakes him. “That’s not what this is about,” Luke tells him quietly, as if continuing a conversation. Reg smiles and kisses Luke sleepily, his morning stubble scratching Luke’s chin. They share the breakfast that Luke made and then lay in bed together until Reg has to go to class.

As Luke’s helping Holden out at the farm one afternoon, his dad finally asks him about Reg. He wants to know if things are getting “serious,” but Luke doesn’t know what to tell him. “You know that I liked Noah,” Holden says, when Luke remains silent for several moments, “but your first love doesn’t always last forever, Luke. It’s not supposed to.” Luke looks up at his father, his expression thoughtful. “Then how do you know when it really _is_ forever?” he asks. Holden looks out into the distance for a moment and then shakes his head and says, “Maybe you don’t.” Luke looks disappointed and Holden wishes he had a better answer.

After a while, Luke starts to spend the night at Reg’s apartment so often that Reg clears out a drawer for him. He tries to play it off like it’s no big deal, but they both know that it is. Later that night they curl up on the couch to watch a movie and suddenly, Luke can’t wait any longer. Gathering all his courage, he whispers, “I love you,” with his heart pounding in his chest. Without hesitation, Reg pulls Luke into a fierce kiss and says, “God, I love you.” Luke can’t stop smiling for days.

Then, almost six months after Luke walked out of Java, Noah finally calls. He asks Luke to meet him for coffee and Luke agrees. When he gets there, he thinks that Noah looks different somehow, older. He smiles when he sees Luke and hands him the coffee that he’s already ordered for him. “I remember how you like it,” he says. Luke doesn’t know what to say. He feels like he doesn’t know this Noah at all.

Noah tells him that he’s finally figured everything out and that he knows what a jerk he was and that Luke was the best thing that ever happened to him. He says a lot of things. And Luke listens. Then Noah says, “I know that you’ve been seeing someone new, but I was hoping…I mean, you once told me that you knew that I was the only one for you. And I just…I know that now too, Luke.” Luke’s heart constricts painfully and it’s all he can do to keep from throwing himself over the table and into Noah’s arms. But he doesn’t. And in that moment, he realizes he never will.

They talk for the better part of the afternoon, tucked away in the corner of the coffee house. There’s so much to say that it’s hard to know where to begin. When they finally say goodnight, Luke’s eyes are filled with tears. He kisses Noah on the cheek and Noah looks absolutely heartbroken. Luke knows the feeling.

When he returns to Reg’s apartment, Reg is sitting in the living room, obviously waiting for him to get back. He takes one look at Luke’s face and stands up, saying things like, “It’s okay” and “I understand” and “I’ve always known how you feel about him.” He looks like he’s about to cry. Luke grabs Reg’s hips and pulls him close, resting his head on Reg’s shoulder. All the weight of Luke’s conversation with Noah disappears from his chest almost instantly. 

“I know how I feel about _you_ ,” Luke says. Reg steps back to look at him, as if not sure if he can believe Luke’s words. When he realizes that Luke really isn’t leaving, his shoulders sag with relief and his smile is breathtaking. He pulls Luke back close and kisses him like he may never stop. Luke hopes that he doesn’t.


End file.
